Friday, June 19, 2009

Yeah I told him... I told him I'd wait forever... sure...

Sharon Jacobs - Marketing Manager

Of course I told him I'd wait forever... I was lying, but I told him. Look, I was no saint, but when you meet some asshole at a drive in and all he wants to do is fool around in the marginally strangest sexual position possible it's definitely pleasurable, but it is NOT something that you want to last forever. It's something thats now or never. But hell... I ain't complaining... it takes a lot for me... he knew he had a job to do, and he knew there was no use in complaining.

But did you think something might happen?

Man we were killing time! We were young and restless, we needed to unwind. This wasn't a question of love... this was a question of marginally strange sexual acts. You know nothing can last forever. Nooooooo.

What if I told you he still plays that old six string and wonders about what went wrong?

I would say he probably does that. He was weird. You know he would play that thing until his finger bled? Who does that... Helen Keller would have that happen to her while she read braille, but really that's about it. He was weird.

How was his band?

They were absolutely awful. Jimmy was the only one who was any good... and he quit for good reason. Everyone else was trying real hard but there's a difference between trying real hard and having any modicum of talent. Jimmy had talent. To tell you the truth, I was only sixty-nining that guy to get to Jimmy. It's true, I'll admit it. Jimmy wouldn't want to just sit on his momma's porch. He really was an awful lover.

How do you feel when you look back now?

That summer lasted forever. For-EVER. Those were the most predictable and boring days of my life. Wait... did you come up with this title?

The summer of 69: An Oral History? Yeah.

Bravo. We're all proud of you and your clever name.


I'm being sarcastic.

Summer of 69... oh yeah...

Bryan Adams - Rocker

I engaged in a lot of oral sex.

Anything you remember about that summer?

Other than the oral sex?

Yeah, like in your song...

No. It was a metaphor for oral sex.

Oh. Well, Mr. Adams...

Don't go. I'm so lonely...

Yeah... I got married... but Jimmy quit.

Jody Carter - Real Estate Salesman

Oh lord. The summer of '69. Yeah... I remember that real well. You know I got a lotta flack that summer... a lotta flack.

What for?

Getting married! C'mon man, getting married. See, me and the guys from school... well we had an idea, you know, and it was going to be a hell of an idea. We knew that no matter what we did we were going to succeed. Geez... but we were young then... real young.

What was your idea?

I didn't tell you already? Jesus, when I look back now I just keep getting lost, you know, can't even tell what stories I've already told you. That summer just seemed to last forever. Well me and the guys from school we got a band and we tried real hard. Like real hard. I don't think I've ever put as much work into anything than band. We were going to take off... some people blame me for it not taking off. I got married. But you know what! It wasn't just me! Jimmy quit! You know that?! Jimmy quit before I ever got married. That was the death toll of that band. It was that. We shoulda known we'd never get far.

Man. If I had a chance you know, I'd always be there.

Those were the best days of my life.

Wait, so what is this for?

An Oral History of 69.

Hahaha. I get it. That's clever. Do you get that? Do you get why that's clever? Oral?


My first real six string...

Jerry Matcher - Shop Owner

July 8th, 1969. Now it's not like I had never had a six string in my life. No. I mean I had a few shitty fake six strings all over the place. But when I look back, that was the date that I got my first real six string, you know? And what an instrument. I mean I was infatuated by that guitar...

So beautiful, so robust, so intriguing. I would be lying if I told you I didn't take it home and play it. By God I played it til my fingers bled.

I remember too getting it from one of the least likely places... just an ol' five and dime I found on the corner. I mean talk about strange! A small five and dime producing such a piece of history, such an important piece of my life.

I mean, when I look back now, i mean, that summer. That summer, it seemed to last for ever.

Those were the best days of my life.

Heh heh... oral...